Just another lengthy post about my thoughts :)
I'm turning 21 in exactly 6 days so I've been thinking a lot lately about the past few years of my life - how I've grown, how much has changed and how those changes have affected me. Then, I suddenly recalled how a friend of mine was a year ago, I never really understood why she felt a certain way, or why she just wasn't as interested in the things I wanted to do then. But now that I am a year older, and hopefully, a year wiser, I feel like I suddenly understand what she was going through.
You see, a year ago, I LOVED partying. I loved the idea of dressing up on a Friday night, strutting around in my highest stilettos etc. I would get out of my house to go a club no matter how tired I was and I would always try my best to drag this one friend of mine with me. But she never really wanted to come along and even if she agreed, I knew that deep inside she would rather stay home and catch up on her sleep. (Ooooo... that rhymed again!) I remember her telling me how she loved to stay home and watch movies on her laptop or read her books. Basically, just stuffs I would never do a year ago.
But then (deng, deng, deng!!!) all a sudden, I realised that I've been doing that a lot lately. Nowadays, whenever there's a party, I'd rather stay home and watch videos on Youtube, and even if I go for a party, I don't really give shit that much about what I'm wearing anymore! And most importantly, I try to drink at most only 3 glasses of alcohol mixes. Gone are the days where I'd binge drink. Which is an awesome thing actually:)
My point is, I've noticed several changes in my lifestyle, which in my opinion, kinda certifies the fact that I'm entering adulthood. I'll list the changes in the following paragraphs (ooo.. haven't used this word ever since secondary school) so let me know if you're going through any of them too!
Generally, here are a couple of things one would most probably experience.
1) Your friends are a few years older than you.
This is especially so if you've just graduated from school and you're interning at a company. You are forced to hang out with a group of older people, which kinda changes your perception on a lot of things. We're talking about people who had a couple more years of experience than you in the industry, and even in their lives. They are obviously not the typical friends you grew up with; they're most probably from the generation that listened and partied to R&B and Hip Hop. hahaha. I just had to say that because Fai's so into that and I'm more of an EDM person.
The point is, these people are at the stage of their lives where they might get married any time soon. They're constantly talking about money and how to buy a house. Inevitably, that gets you thinking about your future as well.
Hanging out with them also means attending their weddings or house warming. It's a weird stage of life to be in because you just got out from the stage of being a teenager, where you could do ANYTHING and get away with it. And now, you're suddenly thrown into the real world where you have no choice but to grow up.
It scares me to think about marriage and buying a house. I'm not ready for that but it's weird how I have to start thinking about it.
2) You're not the "baby" anymore!
If you're a part of an organisation or a company, in my case, I'm a part of Gushcloud, you suddenly realised that you're not the "baby" anymore. You're no longer a kid in other's eyes and a lot is expected out of you in the sense that you have you to set good examples for the younger ones to follow. In the past, everyone around you were your age because all of your friends were from school right? But now that you're in a different world, you tend to meet people from all walks of life with various ages.
It's quite a sad feeling honestly because I'm used to being "the youngest" in almost very scenario but it's not going to be the same ever again! For example, when I was still an active blogshop model, everyone would ask me how old I am and they would always give the same reply "Oh! So young!" But I don't get that anymore because there are so many younger models these days! So sad.... I'm old..
3) You feel pressured to get a job and pay your bills.
I met up with an old friend of mine recently and she kept going on about how worried she was for her future. I'm certain many of you are going through this as well. It's a scary situation to not know what to do after you graduate from school (omg... it rhymes again. I can be a rapper man.) but don't worry, it's alright be feel lost, it will all work out in the end. Just work towards your goals ;)
But yeah, the pressure to get a job is definitely on and you can't escape that because you have to start paying your own bills. I don't know what you think about this because honestly, if you're capable of working, you shouldn't be relying on your parents anymore. At this stage of you life, you'd probably also realised that your parents are getting noticeably older and it'll be awesome if you could contribute to the household bills too.
Okay, now I'm pressuring you. hahaha.
4) You tend to stay home a lot more.
Whether you're in a relationship or not, you tend to stay home more than ever. Fai and I would sometimes spend our weekends just staying home. We would cook our own meals, watch movies and eventually spend the rest of the day sleeping. Yes, SLEEPING. I'm sure that many couples do that too. And if you're not in a relationship, it's cool because you get a lot of me-time.
As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, I noticed that at this stage of my life, I would rather stay home. I used to like to idea of hanging out in town no matter how crowded it was, but now, I find that I can make better use of my time staying home and watching educational videos.
5) You have a preferred taste in music.
In relations to partying, you don't really enjoy a normal clubbing night anymore. You tend to only really party when your favourite guest DJ is in the house or if the club is playing a specific genre that you like. Personally, I don't enjoy partying to commercial EDM music, the sort that usually gets everyone pumped up. If you know me well, you'd know that I only truly love Trance. So if they're not playing Trance, I'm not enjoying the night.
Which is probably why the clubbing industry in Singapore is dying. So many clubs in recent years have come and gone! Why?? Because they're all playing the same shit. I'm telling ya, the only way to save it is to be genre-specific. Don't say I didn't say.
6) Choice of heels.
This point is pretty random but I thought I'll put it in anyway. I don't know if everyone experiences this or if I'm just weird but I realised that, as I grew older, I tend to wear shorter heels. Especially to clubs. I remember being able to dance and stand the whole night in 6 inches stilettos, STILETTOS I'm telling ya! It's so weird thinking about it now, how the hell did I do that? That must have really hurt. But now that I'm a little older, I'd rather wear platforms or boots with shorter heels, basically anything more comfortable then my stilettos. hahaha. Who knows, a few more years down the road, I'd just wear flats to clubs. hahaha.
7) You start to notice changes with your body.
THIS IS BY FAR THE WORST SHIT ABOUT ENTERING ADULTHOOD.
When you're a certain age, you'll notice the decrease in your metabolism rate. Gone are the days where you could wake up with a flat stomach no matter how much junk you ate the night before. Trust me, even with my petite frame; I do wake up with a bulging stomach at times when I eat too much the night before. I'm not saying I'm fat so stop that joke, it's not funny. I'm just saying that my metabolism rate isn't as fast as it used to be and I have to start watching what I eat. It's not so severe yet but I know it's coming :(
But with bad, there's always good. The good part about entering adulthood when it comes to your body is that you start to have womanly curves. I don't think this applies to everyone but I'm sure it does to most people right? You'll notice your hips growing wider, your waist growing smaller, your skin clearer etc.
8) You appreciate those around you more.
The amazing thing about entering adulthood is gaining wisdom. I guess when you're at this stage of your life; you'll feel the most uncertain about a lot of things. There's the pressure to grow up and you'll feel that things just aren't the same anymore. But it's with these insecurities and uncertainties that you tend to appreciate the people around you more. You also tend to appreciate time a lot more. I don't know if you guys feel the same way about it as I do, but I'm at the stage of my life where I care more about gaining new experiences and building memories with my loved ones more than just earning money and gaining status whatsoever.
It's a beautiful stage of your life where you'll start getting in touch with old friends once again. You tend to forgive and forget a lot more because you will start to feel rather lonely - because you keep thinking about your future, you're afraid that you'll spend it alone. Also, as I said earlier, you will realised that your parents are a lot older now, so it's best time to just appreciate them and show them how much you love them.
I guess turning 21 and entering adulthood isn't that bad after all. It's scary but every new experience is scary. It'll take some time to get comfortable with it but I'm sure that once you do get comfortable, things will all turn out fine. You're finally an adult. It just means more responsibilities but it doesn't mean you should stop having fun. In fact, it's a point of time in your life where you truly understand yourself, and enjoying life knowing full well of yourself is the best thing to ever experience :)
Looking back at old photographs of yourself in secondary school might get your emotional from time to time and that's okay because I always get emotional. But learn how to move on, appreciate the present and look forward to building better memories for the future.
Wishing you all the best in life. Thanks for reading!:)
Shall end this post with pictures of myself over the last 21 years. Goodbye youth!:(
Mummy and I <3
Eunice with chicken pox.
My brother and my cousins!
My first "photo shoot" with my mom. hehehe
Always sat up straight since I was a kid. hahaha
I wore the bucket hat before it was even cool.
Always an IJ girl :)
Then, I became vain at 12.
At 13, my first chalet party! hahaha I felt so cool.
At 14, the wannabee stage. haha
At 16, I started modelling.
At 17, the "dark" time of my life. hahaha
I would put the clique's name here but it'll be inappropriate hahaha.
Met Fai some time around here too!
At 18, Poly days.
A&F days. hahaha
At 19, MY CLUB PRONG GIRLS!
Today, almost 21 ;)