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Tough Times X Ash <3 X
SCHOOL OF MUSIC
I thank everyone who's been tweeting to me and texting me about how to feel better and to stay strong and all. But it's so hard... I hardly have anything to say about how I feel now. I can't even find the right words. Im just questioning myself over and over again, "what did i do wrong?"... I think i was the best girlfriend that anyone could have asked for and I gave my all. I did everything I could to make him happy. Its not enough.. Im not saying he's all bad.. Just didn't treat me the way I should had been treated...
I feel so alone most of the time because I don't have time for anyone else but him. I don't have much friends. And even my most closest of friends are either attached or busy or just not with me all the time. I gave him so much but everything fell short and he only sees my flaws... Do i really deserve this at all? I've been taking it in for way too long and finally broke down tonight. Is it really time to finally be strong on my own once again or am I making a mistake...
Im so lost now cause I don't know who to talk to since he was the only one I ever had. I don't wanna make the wrong decision and go through it again... I've always believed in true love and relationships and stuff but now.... My heart has turned back into a stone. I don't know what to feel anymore. Even when I try, it hurts so much that I rather choose to just ignore and give up.
Why must this happen to me now? I thought I was the luckiest girl in world. I thought I was so happy that nothing can bring me down. Didn't expect the most important person in my life to crush it all. Im done waiting hours for you everyday. Im done waiting hours for you in a club alone. Im done going home pass 12midnight everyday just so I can spend more time with you. Im done spending so much money on cabs everyday. Im done. Im done. Im done. I feel so stupid now.. Why the fuck did i care so much? Why the hell did I put in so much effort. Why the hell did I bother to ignore every single guy that talks to me? Why did i bother to constantly make things easier for you whenever we meet?
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My blog never felt so personal to me before. I realized that writing about how I truly feel does make me feel a hell lot better. Just letting everything out here.. And I guess it does keep my mind off stuffs too... So here's an update.
Met Ashleigh a few days back to catch up and stuff. Probably the last few times I'm smiling genuinely.
Oh yeah, I got a new cap and was told after that its actually some Zouk party night merch kinda thing so I basically wasted my money on something so "cheap" and readily available...
Mandatory shot with the huge ass Minion. P.S. I don't find Minions cute at all. I don't get it. Maybe if it was pink and glittery and fluffy and furry, I'll go GAGA. But not when its the color of Ikea and lacks hair......So this was Ash's idea. hahahaha
Love you Ash :x Never fail to make me laugh.
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And I just got back from School Of Music
--------> http://schoolofmusicsg.com/som/
It was such a honor to be invited over along with the other bloggers aka family for a dance class for this week's GCweekend!
Its the first ever ALL-IN-ONE music school! You wanna dance, play the drums or guitar or even be a DJ??? I really think SOM is the place to start. Who better to learn from then Singapore's very own award-winning recording artist and TV personality Sheikh Haikel?!?!?! Its his school and anything is possible there. Remember to dare to dream :) Be that one in a million that takes the risk to pursue what you want.
NOW.... gonna share the pics we took. Bare with me... there's a lot.
With my darlings, Tyler and Asyiha!
And Xavier of course! HAHAHA
Above 2 pics credit to http://www.tylerhikaru.com/ <3
And meet Symone!!! New GC baby. hehehe
Roseanne <3
Love love love Asyiha's new hair! She looks even more gorgeous!! NPNF did it right!!
GC family <3 <3 <3
Thank you Gushcloud for another great opportunity!!!
AND SHEENA CAN REALLY DANCE.
Thank you to the one and only Sheikh Haikel for having us!!! It was such a pleasure! And yes guys, he's SUPER SUPER NICE AND HUMBLE AND SUPPORTIVE. All the more reasons to join School Of Music!!! I'm sure he'll gladly impart his skills and knowledge and experience to you! p.s. looks my my Vaunt pic. hahahahaha
My certificate!!! hehehehe
Also, thank you to the wonderful teacher/coach/choreographer, Hafeez Hassan. This guy really has the groove and can REALLY REALLY DANCE. We learnt a little bit of Lyrical Hip Hop from him and he was AMAZING. He's the Head of Dance, Faculty of Hip Hop. So keep an eye out for him at The School Of Music. Oh yes, I must add, he's super patient with us too!! Very important quality of a teacher.
And that's it!!! We will be back soon. Hopefully the other bloggers can join us next time too!! <3
Check School Of Music out here for more info ------> http://schoolofmusicsg.com/som/
Pic credit to http://www.tylerhikaru.com/ ^^
Goodnight folks...
I feel much better now :)
Gonna make tmr a better day... though you should expect a few more emo tweets.
I need time...
Anyway, can't wait for Maybelline The Rocket launch at Zouk!!!
Hope to see you there^^
xoxo
